Humor

Little Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to go back to his hometown be a big shot and impress everyone. So he returned and opened his new law-office.
The very first morning he opened his practice he saw a man coming to his office door. He decided to make an impression on this potential client. As the man entered, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned to the man to take a seat, all the while talking into the phone:
“No. Absolutely not! You tell those clowns in New York that I won’t settle this case for less than one million. Yes. That’s right. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear the case next week. I’ll be handling the primary argument myself, and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay. Tell the DA that I’ll meet with him next week to discuss the details.”
This sort of thing went on for almost five minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled off instructions into the phone. Finally, Joe put the phone down and turned to the man. “I’m sorry for the delay, but as you see, I’m very busy. What can I do for you?”
The man replied, “I’m from the phone-company. I came to hook up your phone.

While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.
“What are they doing?” I asked our tour guide.
“Each year,” he replied with a grin, “The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish this courtyard.”
“So what’s the answer?” my friend asked him when we were out of earshot of the freshmen.
The guide replied simply, “One.”

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, “No, ma’am, we haven’t had any for some weeks now, and it doesn’t look as if we’ll be getting any soon.”
Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, “That isn’t true, ma’am. Of course, we’ll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago.”
Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, “Never, never, never, never say we don’t have something. If we don’t have it, say we ordered it and it’s on its way. Now, what was it she wanted?”
The clerk smiled and said …”Rain.”

Riddle
What is the smallest all-vowel-encompassing word, yet big?

Answer: SEQUOIA

Contributed by Mrs. Marakatha Krishnam.

The Brazilian police at the border between Brazil and Paraguay noticed a woman on a motor bike enter Brazil everyday. They suspected that the woman was a smuggler. But every time they searched her belongings they found that she carried only a small sack. When they emptied the sack they found nothing but sand. No contraband goods!
This went on for several years. The police were puzzled. One day the chief of the Brazilian border police said to the woman, “We are sure that you’re smuggling something every day from Paraguay into Brazil. But through all these years of searching we’ve found nothing. This is a mystery to us. Will you please tell us what you’re smuggling? Surely you’re not smuggling sand? I give my word that if you tell us, you will never again be stopped at our border and searched for contraband goods.”

” You won’t search me ever again? Word of honor?” asked the woman.

” Word of honor!” replied the chief of police.

Then the woman said, “All these years I’ve been smuggling motor bikes!”

Riddle
Why doesn’t the Holy Mother Sri Sarada Devi appreciate earthquake researchers?”

Answer: Because they try to find faults!

Riddle
What is:
Greater than God,
More evil than the devil,
Owned by the poor,
Lacked by the rich,
And if we eat it, we die?

Answer: Nothing